Language is cool. It is the most accomodating of vehicles through which we express our ideas and thoughts to our fellow human beings. Insightful and colourful ideas such as I like your chin or that is a lovely mustache, where did you get it?
However there are words within the English language which irritate me greatly. I am not speaking of the hateful and deeply insidious “racial slur” (0r ethnophaulisms to give them their proper name) words i.e. chink, gook or banana. I admit that these words do cause me some mild irritation, the problem being that these words are simply too much fun to say, but how else can one be expected to express one’s deep and often well-informed frustrations against filthy, stinking minorities without these useful words? God I hate filthy, stinking minorities, political correctness and badmington. Shuttlecock is a ridiculous word.
The words which test me the most are those which are hyper versatile. By hyper versatile I am referring to words which can be nouns, verbs, adjectives and more. The word which best demonstrates this is “fuck”. So for example one might say “Oh look here comes Tim, Tom or Tony. The fucking fuck fucked me over that one time, I fucking hate the prick.” Here we have the word “fuck” appearing four times in four different capacities. First as “fucking” where it is an adjective, then as “fuck” as a noun, later as “fucked” in its past participle form and finally as “fucking” for a second time but as an adverb. The, admittedly wonderful, versatility of this word makes a mockery of expanding one’s vocabulary. What is the point in learning new words when words like fuck can be used as substitutes so easily? I understand that language must be given space to grow and evolve, but the relegation of wonderous words like troglodyte, tintinnabulation and tufthunter from common everyday use is nothing short of scandalous.
Whilst I do enjoy indulging in the odd foul mouthed tirade against filthy, stinking minorities, I think it is highly regrettable that we neglect the more obscure words which inhabit the dark recesses of our collective lexicon. I mean, come on, TUFTHUNTER.