I love summer, it is hot and sticky, it is sunny and it reminds me of long vacations even though I am not entitled to those anymore now that I am an unemployed member of society. When one thinks of summer it is hard not to think of beaches. And with beaches I think of sunbathing. And the next logical step is of course sun burn and horrible horrible skin cancer.
I was at a beach yesterday, where I indulged in some sunbathing in a bid to attain a bronzen healthy glow that one would not associate with skin cancer. And predictably with unrelenting inevitability I got burnt pretty bad. Now I am red, raw and large chunks of me are falling off of me. Being sunburnt is kinda quite vampiric but slower, less dramatic and more real. But not nu-age, post-Twilight (eurgh) vampiric whereby one’s skin dazzles in the sunlight which we can all agree is bat shit insane and completely retarded. But the author of those brilliant novels is entitled to poetic licence and genuinely good on the author for thinking it up, the crazy bitch.
During my most recent bout of sunburn all that I can think of is how glad that I was not at a nudist beach because if sunburn feels this bad on my back and forearms then imagine how much worse it would be on my genitals? I am an eternal optimist, I believe there is a silver lining in everything. So for example in the aftermath of the Fukushima nuclear debacle, we got some conclusive evidence that being exposed to radiation does not create super humans. Admittedly that is a sad conclusion but I am glad we have that knowledge. Similarly the WHO (i.e. the World Health Organisation as opposed to the English rock band formed in 1964) revealed that mobile phones may cause cancer. That is horrid news yes, but then no one calls me anyway, so no harm done.
People clicking this might be thinking where is the medical science that the title has promised? Was it a lie? Why is Purple Chimp lying to me? He is a dick, I hate him. Well my impatient friends, you are in for a treat because I am about deliver to you the medical goodness that my title flirted with! Only yesterday, in Chicago, in a conference filled with medical boffins and the like, two amazing new drugs called Vemurafenib and Ipilimumab were revealed to have been very successful in the combat against advanced stages of melanoma (or skin cancer). However there is a reverse silver lining to this piece of news because a course of treatment will cost around $120,000. The silver lining? Well, prevention of skin cancer is fortunately less expensive. It includes staying in, wearing lots of clothes in the sun (may cause heat stroke) or simply applying loads of sunscreen which costs as little as $15. Seriously guys, sun burn sucks just ask all the sun burnt nudists and their genitalia.