I am such a horrible HOMOPHOBE!

Damn you straight peoples! Stop making GAYBIES!

By now, readers of this blog know that the blogger of this blog is a big, smelly racist. He has vented angrily his displeasure of filthy, stinking ethnic minorities on several occasions, spreading his vile and detestable brand of intolerant hate speech. Yes he is quite the bastard. It is important to note that he does not reserve his discriminating hate for filthy, stinking minorities. He is also a reverse fan of filthy, stinking homosexuals regardless of their ethnicity. As a big smelly homophobe, he is obviously very disturbed by New York’s recent legalisation of same sex marriages. He is of the belief that the state is setting a very dangerous precendent. Let’s spend the next moments examining his reasons for adopting such a stance.

First of all no one is thinking of the children. The embrace of these gay values is obviously deleterious to the welfare of our impressionable children. Children are the future. Legalising gay marriages is the first step towards turning all of our children into gays. I imagine that the recognition of gay marriages can only serve to further increase the rate of gay adoption, putting these already helpless children (who no-one else wants to help) into further jeopardy. The child if adopted will obviously be taunted at school and ostracised (Two daddies! Two daddies!) by other children who were taught to respect their fellow man properly by their tolerant and well-adjusted heterosexual parents. I mean heterosexual parents are the only ones who can raise children in the correct manner. Who has ever heard of criminals, drug addicts or god forbid it homosexuals that were raised by heterosexual parents? Only heterosexual people can raise law abiding, contributive, well-adjusted children. Homosexual kids raised by heterosexual people are just statistical anomalies that must be ignored because they do not support my argument.

Secondly, no-one is thinking of the societal impact that gay marriages will have on our…society. Are there any societies where homosexuality was open and tolerated? Yes, the ancient Greeks. They died out because they were gay and AIDS. Nothing good can come from the acceptance of homosexuality. Can you name one good thing that originated from ancient Greece? Classical literature which has been consistently studied, admired and inspired for centuries (balls to the Iliad, Twilight is better and more relevant). Philosophy which formed the foundation for all Western cultural and political identity (bullshit, MTV had more of an impact on our generation than anything else – what with grand shows like My Super Sweet 16, Jackass and Jersey Shore). The ancient Greeks had nothing going for them. Anyone who elects to think otherwise is a misguided fool blinded by idealism and romanticism of an ancient era.

The epitome of natural order, humans flying into space.

Leaving the religious considerations (which are similarly well reasoned and numerous) aside, homosexuality is unnatural. This I feel is the most infalliable argument against homosexuality because we humans as a species have always had a great respect for the natural order of the world. Always, without fail. Being natural has always on the forefront of our agenda. Everything is natural about us. The synthetic materials we use for everything, our desire to change our appearance with cosmetics and cosmetic surgery, our growing dependence and fascination with artificial intelligence and robotics. All of these natural, unlike god damned (and science damned for our athiests) homosexuality.

Yes, gays are horrible. They are an incorrigible, cancerous plague on society. They are the face of evil. Everything that is wrong and evil about our world probably has roots in homosexuality. New York has doomed itself to a moral decline. I urge, pray and hope that their legislative body will come to their senses and reverse their abhorrent and repugnant decision in the near future.

This entry was posted in Homophobia, Musing, Nature, Random, Tongue-in-cheek and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I am such a horrible HOMOPHOBE!

  1. japecake says:

    I hear you, brother. It’s surely no coincidence that America’s, or should I say, Manmerica’s, man-staffed space shuttles resembled nothing so much as a good, old-fashioned, heterosexual man-member. With wings, and flames shooting out the back.

  2. Joe says:

    Actually, it appears to be a perfectly natural response to childhood trauma. Gays are 9 times more likely to have been molested as children, and Lesbians somewhere around 8 times more likely. This doesn’t mean that this is how all gayness is formed in people, but describes a significant amount of it which indicates an immoral violation by adults of children.

    • Purple Chimp says:

      Wow, those are depressing statistics. Which part of my post are you disagreeing with? I do not recall mentioning childhood trauma at all, unless of course you mean being adopted by same sex couples as being traumatic.

  3. thefrogblogg says:

    I just want to pass along my gratitude, thanks to this post the term “Gaybies” has been added to my vernacular.

  4. I’m glad someone is finally speaking the truth. We need to get some more AIDS and eliminate them once and for all. I have a couple of vials in my basement. Let’s start sending out powdered AIDs in envelopes!

    • Purple Chimp says:

      By God! What are they doing in vials in basements? Like you say! Get rid of them IMMEDIATELY; not on envelopes but as free shooters in gay bars.

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