I <3 Beauty Pageants~

I am not a very smart person. There are many things that I do not understand; I do not understand quantum physics, the human brain or beauty pageants. I find the last item to be the most troubling of all because I know that the other two do serve a purpose. Quantum physics is like being everywhere and nowhere at the same time with Schrodinger’s cat. The human brain does all sort of crazy stuff – like make us go crazy. But what is the point of beauty pageants? All they seem to promote is the judging of people on how nice they look in a bikini or as I like to call it retardation of human progress.

I really just don't get it. What is the point?

As a normal red-blooded male, I find it very nice to gawk at the often scantly clad girls that are parading their fulsome pairs of fun-bags for the public to see. On that level, I guess beauty pageants are devilishly titillating. Intellectually speaking though, I find beauty pageants to be rather more vapid. Why do attractive people willingly choose to participate in pageants? Do pretty people really think – Hey world, you know what? I look great and you all should pretty much acknowledge it. As a ghastly looking young man I don’t understand the logic behind this train of thought. Maybe they are simply displaying a talent that they are proud of, which is not reprehensible at all. I mean people often go on to quiz shows to showcase their wits and win money and no one bats an eyelid. Are beauty pageants any different? Well yes because, you have to work for knowledge – with beauty you are just born with it.

The idea of a beauty pageant just seems very ridiculous to me. You have the participants strut around in swimwear and then you ask them some questions as if to show the world that the beauty pageant does have some sort of intellectual substance behind it. If you really want to find a combination of beauty and brains why not give them difficult math tests or intricate word problems? What they have now just flimsily disguises what beauty pageants are about – the objectification of its participants. It feels like they are trying to desperately say that these objects are not just nice to look at but they are also very smart with opinions on world peace which are worthy of an audience. It is like when you are dating this fine, gorgeous creature who is dumb as pig shit but you try desperately to tell your friends that when you guys are alone he/she says profound things like – where are my keys. At least with the animal shows, they are not lying to themselves – the animals are judged on their looks and not on their political views.

Or am I sullying what is in actuality a very noble event? Maybe there is a deep and profound reason behind beauty pageants. Maybe it is the celebration of the female form or it is a celebration of the confidence and will power of the participants. After all the Miss World competitions attracts competitors from all over the world, perhaps the point behind them is to bring people from different cultures together, to promote unity – in our objectification of women.

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2 Responses to I <3 Beauty Pageants~

  1. Whitney Soup says:

    there is no point. i’ve always been fascinated with beauty pageants too.

    the point is – miss congeniality is a hilarious movie that wouldn’t have been made if it weren’t for beauty pageants. 🙂

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