No FAT chicks please!

Please lift the size zero model ban! How else can we earn a living to feed ourselv...never mind.

For too long the media has been focusing on the so called evils of size zero models, stating that they impact negatively on the health of our impressionable young (and indeed old) girls. Sure we have all read or heard about the negative health impacts it has on the young girls of our society – hormonal imbalance leading to irregular periods and infertility, abnormal thinning of bones leading to osteoporosis in later life and psychological eating disorders. Most abhorrent perhaps is the inspiration of the pop song “Big Girls You Are Beautiful” by Mika (God I HATE that song). Sure those are all pretty bad I guess. After reading them I feel a little bit disgusted with size zero models too, who would not? However that is only one side of the story – making a judgment after only hearing one side of the story is not something I take kindly to! In order to redress the balance I believe it is time that someone speaks the truth and reveal the hidden benefit that adopting a size zero lifestyle can bring to humanity.

The population of the earth will balloon to 7 billion by the end of 2011. I do not know what you think but my view is that the number is too high. If you think we are having problems supporting the current population of humans, the problems are just going to keep getting worse. Our limited resources are being severely stretched (and poorly distributed). The price of food is rising at a rapid rate. In fact things have become so bad (in truth things have always been bad, what I meant was worse) that a considerable amount of people are being pushed into poverty. What should be done about this? Should we stop speculators from toying so fecklessly with food prices? Should we prevent massive corporations from hogging and buying vast plots of arable land? No, because in free capital markets, capital should be allowed to flow to areas which the markets deem to be most profitable. What we do need is more size zero women. In order to achieve their dangerously low body weights, these women have to eat less food. Hopefully the lower demand in food would cause the price of food to fall to such a level as to allow starving families to purchase modest amounts of grain to fill their bloated stomachs (paradoxically caused by extreme starvation).

Solving world hunger merely relieves the symptom. The disease is overpopulation. How do we cure that? Should we decimate our population by randomly killing one out of every ten person? Though this solution is fair, it offends our accepted standards of morality. Should we plan meticulously and devise a solution to overpopulation through better use and allocation of our resources? No, because that is just too damned hard. Here, again size zero lifestyle brings hidden benefits as it seriously fucks up the practitioner’s anatomy. Women need a critical amount of body fat to store oestrogen and other hormones. Without these essential elements women stop ovulating, how boss is that? Not only would eating little next to no food solve a world problem, you can also save on contraceptives. For these size zero women there will be no pregnancies, EVER, to ruin your svelte, bony body shapes. Talk about win-win-win!

Now before you accuse me of being a woman hating woman hater, may I just say that I am not arguing for size zero lifestyles for my own benefit. I am just playing devil’s advocate; skinny women are my LEAST favourite thing in the world. Because…

This entry was posted in Musing, Random, Tongue-in-cheek and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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